THE Burnout

75 days was the reminder that I got from Project Wedding on my Blackberry's inbox today. It was like it was shouting at me with its evil blinking red light going "LOOK AT THIS EMAIL STEFANIE, YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAYS AND ITS GOING TO SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU". Even scarier than only 75 days remaining until I marry the Mr? the fact that the last 25 days blew by without a blink of an eye (although I did have the Twilight series books to preoccupy the last 2 weeks, and yeah haters, I know I'm gay, but it was like how I suppose a heroin addiction would feel to a junkie. SO GOOD!)





The moral of the story: I'm burned out.

source

I refuse to update this blog because it reminds of the million and one things I have to do, I refuse to read other blogs, I refuse to online shop for all of the items on my list, or do anything wedding related that takes more than an e-mail to rectify, or explain or anything... I. AM. DONE.

I'm trying to work past it, trying to figure out a loop hole and get excited about things again. But there seems to be no end in sight, and I'm afraid this feeling of being overwhelmed ALL THE TIME will never go away. I can't look at my "to-do" list without feeling totally in fear that it will never get done, or it will and it just won't be good enough.

My freaking wedding, is on a freaking pedestal.

Have I told you (yes you, the one reader who may or may not still read this blog because it's been so long since I've updated) that my wedding is number 4 of 4? You may not get what that means, so let me explain. I have a shit ton of cousins on my father's side of the family. Like somewhere close to 30 or something. No, we're not Mormon, but my Grandma was Catholic. A lot. Anyway, 4 of us cousins are getting married this year. One was last December, one was this past April, one in October and then last but not least, the Cook/Dee nuptials in November. This would be OK if not for a few things: #1, I am the youngest and not by just a month, but like by 5 years, so I think I'm feeling all "judged" because of that. #2, Our wedding is going to be different. It's not in a "wedding venue" per say, it's more like in a place where kids run around and scream their heads off and go crazy all because its a Children's Museum, and that's where young one's blow off the steam. #3, Our parents (all three sets) are paying for most of this wedding, and as much as it is FREAKING AWESOME that they are doing that, it's still a little freaky that Mike and I are writing very few checks, when I'm sure the other 3 cousins and their spouses wrote fatty checks. Hmmmm. See? Doubt. Fear. PEDE-FREAKING-STAL!

WOW, this took a whole other direction that I was meaning it too. Ha. Love when that happens.

Anyway reader, got any advice for a burnout?