I'm back to being me

So, I got denied for writing at WeddingBee.com. Not a big deal, because then I can start saying things like "Shit, I forgot that my appointment to start my wedding dress alterations was at 10, not noon" or "FUCK dude, stop yelling at me, I didn't MEAN to almost hit you in the cross walk".

Not gonna lie, I was a little bummed about the rejection e-mail I got this afternoon, but then it dawned on me: I'm not a DIY person, I hate paper (and the cuts they give me), I hate happy pretty things ALL THE TIME. I'm a tomboy, I'm down and dirty and a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. So this blog will resume the way it started. Not wedding crazy all the time, and not personal things all the time, but me. I'm Becoming Dee, I'm Stefanie with an F and I love me. I love writing this blog for me (and my 1 reader) and I like what I post. It may not be perfect, but its perfect for me.

I've been thinking about my future a lot lately, kind of hard to deny those thoughts when I'm a mere 4 months from marrying Mike. What do I want to be when I grow up? A photographer? Yes. A wedding planner? Yes. Creative in any form? YES YES YES! An administrative assistant with no future in sight and a really, I mean really pathetically small paycheck? No.

I know that when Mike and I embark in that thing called parenthood in a few years I want to be at home all the time, just like my mom was for myself and my brothers. I just hope we are in the financial position to be able to do that, and we'll wait until we are. I want to be a soccer mom (but I refuse to drive a mini-van or wear capri pants), I want to let my kids get really gross and dirty, but I also don't want to be a typical stay-at-home mom. I want to have a little something for me, maybe photography on the side, or a small wedding planning business ran out of a spare room. Ugh... I told you I was thinking about the future a lot lately.

What I want is not what I have now. Do not misunderstand me, I love my life. I love the material things that we have, from the hand me down couches to the dressers that have been spray painted FOUR times to the clothes on our backs. I love the things you can't see; the love of my fiance, the happiness we bring each other even through crappy times, the unconditional love of our families and friends. But I need more.... stimulation (not in a creepy way though).

I have a lot to write in the next few days, more wedding-y type stuff but I'm taking a short holiday and then going to see my niece who is moving to London for the next three years. It's going to be great, but bittersweet. Lots of pictures of weekend antics to come.

Thanks for listening reader(s).