Forgive me readers for I have sinned, it has been A VERY LONG TIME, since I've posted anything.
I'm in a bit of a funk. I'm going to blame it on the weather (even though its been an average of 65-70 degrees pretty much this entire winter). Ok, I'll blame it on being a mother to a very self-sufficient 6 month old. Oh, crap, that doesn't work either. Ok, I blame it on work. That is always a valid excuse.
Session started and that coupled with having a whole slew of new things to do in my job that I've been doing for about four years now has been an interesting transition. I love it though. The days FLY by and more and more I am in love with my job all over again. I've had a change of heart, thank God.
My car broke now a few weeks ago and that has been leaving me feel very oddly bummed out. It threw a piston or something, not straight through the block but enough to leave the damages well over $1,000. And who has that kind of money, really? Not me. So my poor little toaster car has been sitting in my driveway, unused for weeks now. I'm not going to lie. Having Mike drive me to work and/or pick me has been nice. I've even been taking the bus some days, and I enjoy it, even though I have to wake up amazingly early to catch it. And walk to the bus stop in the dark, and the cold. And deal with the weird downtown Phoenix people. And the weird guy who stares at me. And the Asian couple who sleep. And the nice young boy who listens to System of a Down on his i pod very loudly. I like him though. We bonded through music. Only because I could here every word of it. I really don't mind it though.
I guess my car situation has bummed me out because I hate talking about money. Since I was a kid and new what money was, and what it does I haven't like talking about it. I grew up very comfortably. And now that I"m a grownup, I've got very little. Enough to survive. Enough to stay on top of all of all of our bills and diapers/baby food/formula. Enough for the necessities in life, but not enough for any extra. I guess I've never been that blunt about money before. Mostly because I hate it. It's a necessary evil.
When I went on maternity leave I didn't have enough vacation time to pay for the entire 8 weeks I wanted to take. Not maternity leave policy at my job...whomp whomp. Anyway, I only had about 4 full weeks of vacation (which yes, is a lot), but I knew that I wanted to stay home as long as I could but I wasn't willing to get no money for being on maternity, so I stretched it out to 8 weeks and still got to take home a paycheck every other week. A very small, itty bitty paycheck. Mike and I knew what to expect and paid bills up front and got ourselves in the best financial situation possible but we still took a large hit. And since July, we're still making up for it.
I don't know why I'm saying all of this. Maybe to be more honest. With the economy the way it is I know we are not the only one's living paycheck to paycheck. But I feel alone in this. I feel like an asshole because we should have had money in savings to cover our asses but we don't. It is hard to save when you cannot afford to save, if that makes sense. We are doing what we can. Cutting back, paying things off, not going out a ton and being really good. That is going to be really hard here on February 3rd when my beloved iPhone FINALLY comes to Verizon, but we'll see what happens.
Charlotte update coming soon. Teaser: Coolest baby ever. 7 back fat rolls. Sitting up. Eating baby food. Laughs all the time. Looks absolutely nothing like me. Loves Ollie.
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