The balancing act

Mother. Wife. Employee. Chef. Dishwasher. Chauffeur. Bather. Soother. Boo-Boo kisser.

The hats I wear. With pride.

When I first got pregnant I had a hard time dealing with the fact that my life would change forever.  I was only 23. I had JUST (as in two weeks prior) gotten married and now I was having a baby? Um, what?! Wasn't this the time in my life where I was supposed to be going out all the time. Getting after work drinks with my co workers, having  girls nights, and hot dates with my new husband? Instead I was in bed by 7 pm SHARP every night because cooking a baby made me one tired mama. (Imagine PMS every single day for 9 months, fun right? Happy conception to you!)

I mourned the loss of my former life all throughout my pregnancy and even now I still do. When I'm standing over the sink, elbow deep in dishes and suds I think to myself , "Man, I'd really like to see that movie".  Movies, that may be the number one thing I miss. They're quite, and dark, and there is popcorn and no children. Movie popcorn = normal human life.  Or when I'm changing my fourth poop diaper of the day I think "I wonder what the rich people with nannies are doing right this second"? And then I scrape poop from under my finger nails. G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.

I even fantasize about my child(ren) being grown up. Living at their college dorms, in their first apartments, on a different side of the country and Mike and I having morning coffee together, going "well shit, what do we do now"?  That is the freaking problem with having kids. They're always on your mind. Even when I'm in the shower in the morning I'm like "I hope my kid didn't launch herself out of her crib this morning, because I'm already running late and if I have to kiss a forehead boo boo its going to put me behind another 30 seconds".

Am I complaining?  A little. But I'm a realistic person, and I know EVERY parent out there feels this way. Try to argue with that fact. I dare you to a bitch-off on parenting.

Is life better now? Well dur. I wouldn't change a second of it, blah blah... I love it. (I'm not kidding) But to say that I don't miss my "old life" would be lying, just a little bit.