9.06.2011

The closet issue

I decided to take on the large task of cleaning out my closet yesterday.

I've been putting it off for a really long time. Mostly because of the small sized, VERY pre pregnancy clothes that I knew I had to let go of. And then I felt like I was letting myself go. Like I let myself go, after I had the baby. There was no way I was slinking  back into those really cute gray skinny jeans, or that dress that I wore for our engagement pictures.

It was an emotional thing to do, but it was also very eye opening. I felt like "Ok, I'm letting this go because I know that I can get back to those sizes and when I do I can do a whole lot of shopping". Mike promised me.

In total I bagged up 72 items of clothing. About 20 of which were maternity and hanging in my closet, and about 4 items of maternity clothes I was still wearing. 13 months after I had my child. That is embarrassing.


I'm also trying to stock my closet of "essentials". Here is Real Simple's list of "The Essentials of a Well Balanced Wardrobe"


  • Black Tank (had one, it was maternity but I was still wearing it, put it in storage) NEED
  • Crew Neck Sweater - NEED
  • Jeans - Have one good pair, but they're very dark. I think I need one more pair, in a lighter color
  • Long sleeve white shirt - NEED
  • Khaki's - Have
  • Black turtle neck (Don't like turtle necks, so I won't be purchasing)
  • White button down - NEED
  • Long sleeve black shirt - NEED
  • Cardigan(s)- I have a few cardi's, but they're all gray. I need lots more, in BRIGHT colors
  • Short sleeve white shirt - Have
  • Black pants - Have, but they don't fit well (AKA, too tight)
  • Denim Jacket - Have, but its too small. I couldn't let it go in my clothes round up yesterday. Its a dark denim motorcycle jacket. Just couldn't do it. So I NEED, a new one.
  • Short sleeve black shirt - Have
  • Wool Skirt - Have (surprisingly)
  • Black Suit - NEED (and I've actually been dying for one, a really great one, for a while now)
  • Pinstripe Oxford shirt - Have a few, but they're quite ill fitting
  • Black Dress - Have (not surprisingly)
  • Silk Blouse - Not too hot on the silk blouse thing, but if I find one I love I will purchase it
  • Gray trousers - Have, but like the black pants, they don't fit well
  • Fitted jacket - I have an adorable royal blue pea coat from last winter that I LOVE and I kept
  • Camisole - I've got almost an entire drawer of ratty undershirts that I tossed. Need to restock with some silky cami's
  • Printed dress - I've got a few, but they're ill fitting (see a common denominator here?)
  • Patterned Jacket - I'm not so big on the jackets, mostly because I live in Phoenix and there are maybe 10 days on which a jacket is called for in the winter. I don't think I'll be buying this
  • Bold blouse - I've got one, could use another
  • Graphic sweater - See "Patterned jacket"
  • Tweed Pants - "See Graphic Sweater"
  • Velvet Jacket - I had this adorable little Victorian style black velvet jacket a few winters ago. It had little snowflake cuff links on it. Its way too small for me now, but I kept it anyway.
  • Ruffle shirt - Don't love the look so I won't be buying
  • Cocktail skirt - This is something I really need, but I have a really hard time deciding what to wear with a bold print on the bottom. A solid shirt? I don't know.
  • Sparkly top - Don't have, but do need.
  • Velvet pants - I would love to find a pair, but wearing velvet is no easy task.
  • Party dress - Need.
I see a pattern, do you? I have very very few pieces of clothes that I put on on a daily basis that I love. Mostly everything I own is cheap, or hand me downs, or ill fitting. And I have to attribute a lot of that to being plus sized. I was in denial for a long time on being a plus sized woman, who wants to see 18W on the tags of their pants every time you go shopping or put on a pair at home? So I bought regular pants, not the plus size, and was surprised as to why when I got home they didn't fit right. Too tight in the thighs (ugh), and the belly (double ugh!). I have two very nice pairs of slacks sitting in my closet, and have been there for months because of this problem.

I'm not advocating for being over weight, its a daily struggle for me, and millions of people out there like me, but I try to keep it in check. My problem is with food and exercise. I eat shitty stuff, and sit behind a desk for 10 hours a day/4 days a week. I huff and puff when I chase my daughter around the house, and I smoke, which REALLY doesn't help either.

But what I am saying is when I started buying in the "plus" section of the store I initially felt embarrassed. I made sure I went to a store where nobody would be, and I went in the middle of the day to avoid crowds but when I tried on those pants with the W behind the 18 and they fit great (and made my body look great TOO) I felt so liberated. Like sure this weight sucks, but while I am this size (and I won't be forever) I want to look as good as I can. 

Feeling good is half of the battle. Looking good is the other half. 

My goals:
  • lose weight (obviously)
  • buy things that fit well, are going to last me a long time, and that I love
  • try to feel good about myself everyday by making good and healthy decisions 






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