A letter to Charlotte, on her first birthday.

July 27, 2011

Dear Charlotte,

A year ago today you came into our lives like a tiny little 10 pound bull in a china shop. I remember being scared out of my mind the moments before you took your first breath. I knew I would see you for the first time, I knew that you would finally be all ours forever and I knew you would be fantastic. But the unknown was scary. How we would be able to do it, take care of this fragile tiny thing? How would we be able to keep her happy, to appreciate the little things and to be who she wants.

At 1:39 in the afternoon I wasn’t a mother, I was waiting and one minute later at 1:40 you came into the world and all of those thoughts, all of that worry faded away. You were here, you were healthy and pink and when you finally started to cry I felt a wave of relief for the first time in the 38 weeks since I’d known I was carrying you.

Bringing you home from the hospital was one of the scariest and best things ever. But life kept on giving us great things, mostly your huge appetite and your very tiny little cry. You have not changed must in the last year: you still have a great appetite and eat EVERYTHING, and you don’t cry much.

Then came the firsts. First smile, first tears, first laugh (you laughed for the first time while you were sitting on Grandpa’s lap watching daddy play softball) , first time you rolled over (and right off of the couch, sorry), first time you ate solids (rice cereal, you LOVED it), first time you crawled, your first steps. You said “dada” first (naturally), and would only SCREAM “mama” when you were mad or sad. You love Ollie and go “AH,AH” every time she passes you or sits under your high chair. I think you are either trying to say Ollie, or dog. Either way, its so cute.

You are such a good baby. You love to smile and wave at everyone you see. You bring joy to perfect strangers and all of your family. All of your grandparents love you to death, the same with your uncles and aunts too.

I am so thankful for you everyday. Some days are harder than others, but not a moment in the last 365 days have I thought that my life would be better without you, because you make life better. You wake up with a smile on your face every single morning and when we walk in to get you out of bed you do this little squawk thing and then we change your diaper and you smile and laugh. You also love bath time. You’ve never cried during bath time and you love to splash mommy and daddy in the tub.

You’ve changed our lives. And you will continue to do so forever. What I hope for your life is to know that we love you, we always will love you no matter what. We want you to think for yourself, form your own opinions, give everyone and everything a chance and live your life to the absolute fullest. Be your own person, stand up for yourself, fight for your right to a fulfilling, beautiful life. If anyone deserves all of those things, it is you Charlotte.

I love you my beautiful daughter. Thank you for showing me so much in such a short amount of time. I gave you life, but you gave it right back to me.

Love always,
Mom